Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho...

A few months ago, my son’s aunt suggested he might like working in a not-for-profit institution, and he might want to consider using his Communications major to that end. Having a built-in connection to Franciscans Hospital for Children in Boston, my son contacted someone in the media and development department there, that he has been in touch with for the past few years. He offered his services for the summer as an intern and she agreed to an interview. She interviewed my son and he must have managed to favorably impress her!

Now home for the summer, he began working there last week. This is an unpaid internship and, for the time being, once a week. But think of the work experience he will be able to add to his resume and the good he will be doing for Franciscans. This is truly a win-win.

My son’s first task is to help with the campaign for a fundraiser the hospital is doing – a 5k run called the “New Balance Heartbreak Hill.”  New Balance because the company is the major sponsor of the race and a significant benefactor to the Hospital; Heartbreak Hill, because it is run on that particular part of the Boston Marathon route. My daughter and I ran it last year; she beat me by five minutes, or about a half mile, without training. Oh to be young.  I suggested this year that they run the race in the opposite direction, but the organizers didn’t bite! While my son promotes the race and volunteers on race day (my husband will as well), my daughter and I are running and hoping to raise funds; we’ve renamed our team to add “Banyana” to the title – this is an African term for Strong Women and the name of my daughter’s soccer team, who are offering their support.

Here is our link:

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=471219&supId=292165278

Click on or copy and paste the above into your browser to read about this fundraiser and to make a donation if interested.

I will let you know more about my son’s specific contributions as an intern in another post.

Sometimes You Just Have to Vent

After posting yesterday, I realized how distraught I was over the level of professionalism exhibited by the OSD at my son’s “university.” Before I could stop myself, my fingers had typed a letter to the president! Unfortunately, I do not hold high hopes that she will reply.

The more important thing is that – learning disability aside – my son has gotten off to a fairly smooth start in his second year. His new roommate, he says, is nice but pretty quiet. He likes his classes, especially the communications courses. He believes the Public Speaking course will be the most challenging; but I reminded him that if he has to deliver prepared speeches, he will do fine because of his acting experience. Ex temporaneous speaking is more difficult (partly because of the dysfluency, but I think speaking off the cuff in front of a group is a challenge for most people).

He is in a brand new, sophomore-only dormitory which is truly beautiful; the dorm has its own cafeteria and my son has informed me that the food is much better than it was last year. There are two resident faculty members who are there to organize academic support groups (I think they have other responsibilities but I am not quite sure what they are). He is involved once again with the Ultimate Frisbee Team. However, he has found the practices physically demanding and he is not sure that he will stick with it for the full year. I hope he does – as much for the inherent social connections that it provides him with as for the exercise. He has committed to staying on through the first tournament, which is on Saturday, the 18th.

Rolling Along

Summer has consisted of increasingly successful driving lessons and late nights. Last Friday after Frisbee, my son texted that he was going out for ice cream with some of the players. Little things mean a lot.

He is not without his stress though. He is anxious for school to start in the fall for the (not so) simple reason that he feels that there are so many loose threads in that part of his life. He is overflowing with “What ifs.”

What if I don’t like the communications course?

What if I like them but they won’t let me change majors?

What if I don’t like the major?

What if I don’t make the Ultimate Frisbee team?

What if I don’t get along with my new roommate?

What if I can’t decide what I want to do with my life after college?

All I can do is remind him how well he managed in his first year and how much he has achieved over the past twelve months. I am hesitant to hang too much emphasis on his social activities this summer – which is apparently no big deal to my son!

There is more to the final question than would appear at first blush. The fact that he was not able to get a paying job weighs heavily on him. He was very disappointed that the connection to the Best Buddies organization proved to be fruitless when they were overwhelmed with requests from clients with more debilitating problems. On the one hand, it’s encouraging that my son is much better equipped to succeed on his own; on the other, his Nonverbal Learning Disability is a real impediment to learning those basic “how do I apply for a job’ skills, even before the “how do I get and hold a job” skills.

At the end of the summer, he will meet with a social services provider and we hope that this connection will address some of those concerns.

In the meantime, he drives…he goes out…he conquers!

Shedding Light on Why I Write (I'm a Poet!)

I began, and continue this blog as a means for my son and others with similar social communications problems to better understand some of the nuances of life in a social context.

The “why” of creating the goal is much more difficult to put in a public forum. This little blog is not only open to my son for reading, but I want him to read it; I want him to learn all the little things that are second nature to everyone else; I want him to know that he is smart and strong and loved and that there is no doubt in my mind that he will be happy and successful in life. Knowing he might (will?!) read this, how open and honest can I be in revealing my fears?

I fear, for example, that he will continue to struggle to make friends and cultivate relationships with peers, that he might not understand the unspoken guidelines regarding how to get and hold a job upon graduation from college, that this learning difference will hinder him from a having a fulfilling life.

I have written here about the email threads I receive through my membership in AANE, a local non-profit organization dedicated to providing resources for children and adults with Asperger’s syndrome or similar disabilities. Some I read and breathe a sigh of relief that my son does not have those particular problems, but many – especially those that touch on peer interaction – touch my heart as I see him struggling in a similar plight. Following are short edited excerpts from parents and AS/NLD young adults to illustrate these struggles.

Question: Just wondering if anyone's son has found a long term girlfriend?

Discouraging Responses:

My son… has not had a girlfriend. Not even a date. We tried E-Harmony but it didn’t work out so after the 3 months I discontinued. He is really depressed about not having a girlfriend.

My son is 20, and to date he has never had even a short-term girlfriend, to my knowledge.

… kind of depressing not having a girlfriend on Valentine’s Day.

[I worry that] life is passing by.… it is especially frustrating because there is so much [to] enjoy…. afraid of becoming the weird middle-aged guy who lives alone and everyone avoids.

And Encouraging Responses:

Even my NT son is finding the same problem out there in the dating world. He's 6'3", blond, slim - doesn't smoke, doesn't drink and has many interests….He's such a nice guy and so nice looking.

Even "typical" people have trouble finding a boyfriend/girlfriend. I have lovely friends who didn't meet their "true love" until later in life

Our kids…need to build up their self confidence and competence in life. When they feel good about themselves, it will show and they will become more attractive to the opposite sex. We know it's a journey and probably a longer process for our kids. Self confidence is a big issue [as is] willingness to get out there and try something new. …encourage our kids to find things they like (or are willing) to do that involve other people. It doesn't matter if there's an attractive potential mate that the activity. Getting to know people can bring about introductions, and also build self confidence.

…have a friend who is about 55 of 56 who is NT and is just getting married for the first time this July. He is a very nice person, funny, loyal, good job, just an all around nice person but it took this long till he found "miss right" so I use that as my guide for my son when the right one comes it will happen.

On College and Peer Relationships:

He is desperate for social interaction…his train of thought is that his roommate at school would be his best friend...

…thinking of closing his Facebook account because ”what’s the point? No one ever writes on my wall or asks me to be friends.”

[The] opportunity for down time [living at] at home has been a really important contributing factor to [my] confidence and success at college.

[I’m] looking forward to finishing [community college]… so [I] can transfer to a live-in school. …loved college.

If you are reading this and you are neuro-typical, and your children are NT, I hope these short sentiments give you an idea of life on the other side of typical. This is why I write. My son told me fairly recently that there were times during high school that he felt “alone.” Given that he mentioned this while sharing that some of the fellows he had met in a group setting had been pretty horribly bullied, I am glad he did not go through that ordeal. But how much better is it to be ignored?

This summer my son has been out until relatively late several times and I am rejoicing. He has always hit developmental milestones at his own pace, and I hope that this is just another such instance.

Reality Check

Things continue to go well this summer. My son’s driving skills are improving; he joins a pick-up Ultimate Frisbee game two or three days (or nights) each week; he and his father go to the local YMCA to work out once or twice each week; he is involved with the small group of college guys with similar issues (although my son’s sense is that the other two men have different, and perhaps more debilitating, issues than he does); he sees his long-time therapist/friend once every week or so; he does his “walkabouts” daily.

But under all this progress is a learning disability that doesn’t go away. It shows itself subtly, though in a manner that impacts my son’s life in an anything-but subtle way.

In his efforts to find a job this summer, he filled out several applications online. The most recent one was for a drug-store chain where we had seen a “help wanted” sign posted at the outlet in our neighborhood. After he completed the standard identification and background sections, there was a series of multiple choice questions to be completed. Once during this part of the process, he said to me “I hate these questions when they don’t have a ‘middle-of-the-road’ answer.” There were four response choices, so – whatever the question – the answer was pretty much a definite or weak ‘yes’, or a definite or weak ‘no.’ I didn’t look at the questions, just told him to answer as best he could and not to worry about it.

WRONG! Live and learn.

He decided to go into the store last night and find out about the status of his application. After checking, the manager told him that the questions at the end of the application are designed to measure how a candidate would deal with stress in customer service situations. There was a certain minimum score that had to be achieved to merit bringing in the applicant for an interview, and my son’s score was below that minimum. He could reapply after ninety days.

Now here is the dilemma: was it better that my son answered the questions honestly and effectively avoided a job that might have exposed him to a stress level that he could not handle? Or would he have been better off if I had looked over his shoulder and coached him on some of the answers, giving him the reassurance that – at least on paper – he’d react differently than perhaps his gut was telling him?

As we walked home from the store, he seemed to be okay with what the manager had told him (but I’m really not sure he was, and I’m glad he is seeing his “talk doctor” today). I asked him if he felt better knowing why he didn’t get called, or would it have been better just not to have heard from the store; he said he thought it was better to know one way or the other. Then I told him that, knowing in hindsight that the questions were designed to figure out how he might cope in a stressful situation, it might have been better to take a more confident position on some of the answers, even if he wasn’t being completely true to himself. However, I had to add that maybe it was for the best that he was honest. He knows what he is capable of. In the event of a misstep on the job, it is frequently difficult for anyone to tolerate criticism or correction by a manager. He will eventually experience on-the-job criticism, but perhaps today that's something he's not ready to manage.

In his first year at college, it seems to me that he was certainly criticized more than complimented (he might not agree), and I’m not sure what that has done to his self-confidence. I do think further coaching and development might be warranted to ensure a successful first job experience.

Harder Than We Thought

Driving will be much more of a challenge for my son than I had thought; and we’ve come to a point where he will have to decide how committed he is to getting his driver’s license. His permit expires in mid-July, and we’ve been able to schedule two lessons a week. At this point, he has about six hours behind the wheel on the road. Given that learning to drive is all about practice, he won’t be able to get enough practice in with this particular teacher prior to the permit expiration date.

I spoke to his instructor, and he told me my son is still a little nervous in any traffic and he thought it best not to push him too quickly. This particular instructor has a fairly busy schedule with several other clients this summer. We are considering picking up some additional instructional time with another school; however, it might be difficult to find another instructor so keyed into my son’s learning style.

In the meantime, my son, husband and I discussed the extent of my son’s determination to get his license. If he wants it, he will have to re-take the permit test in July. That will give him an additional two years to get as much practice as he needs to achieve competence and confidence. I would not have been surprised if he backed down, since we live in an area with easy access to reliable public transportation. However, he came to the same conclusion that my husband and I came to: he needs a driver’s license. It’s not only a convenience, but – depending on where one lives – could be a necessity.

So out comes the manual once more; the written test should not pose a problem. Armed with an additional two years to learn, he will be able to proceed and succeed at his own pace. No rush.

How to Apply For a Job

This past weekend my son and I went for a walk toward our local downtown area, and stopped at several places along the way to inquire about summer jobs. We discovered that most were not hiring, but he left applications anyway; three took online applications; and one suggested that he come back during the week. Later I went grocery shopping and put in an online application on his behalf at that store, where I was told they might still be hiring for the summer. In addition, he left a voicemail message for the person in charge of hiring umpires for our town’s youth baseball program. My son had worked in that capacity for six years and it was great experience for young people.

Here is the script we were following:

First, know that you can ask just about anyone about jobs, and they will always be happy to say: Let me find out; or let me get the manager.

Walk in and say “Hi – I was wondering of you are hiring either full or part time.” Whoever you ask might say, “I’m not sure; let me check with the manager.” Another possible response is, “Yes, let me get you an application; [or] “Yes, you can apply on line at www…” Finally, they might give the dreaded answer “No, I’m sorry. We’re fully staffed right now.” We also got one response of “I’m not sure, please stop back during the week.”

Having done that, the hardest part is over (for a while). Once you have the applications in front of you, either print copy (WRITE NEATLY!) or online, you can just fill it out and send it – electronically, in the mail, or go back and drop it off. Although it might be disappointing to get “No” for an answer, there should be no more anxiety-producing requirements until you hear back from a company that would like to interview you; a bridge we will cross when we get to it!

I don’t know whether my son will get any of these open pursuits, but I am very proud of the way he handled it. It is very difficult for neuro-typical people to cold-call for a job. He discussed it with his Dad and they came up with the idea of a little extra help. My son asked if I wouldn’t mind going with him to these establishments. Neuro-typical people might be nervous about walking in and asking about employment; but it is likely that they would know more-or-less what to say and how to say it. For my son, our one hour walk was just another coaching session, and I think he got a lot out of it in terms of how to approach this demanding undertaking.

Start of the Summer

Thus far, it’s been an uneventful week. My son and I have talked about whether he will apply for jobs. The conclusion was it would be nice to have some spending money, but we also talked about how hard it can be just to walk into an establishment and ask if they are hiring. He went into a local video store on Tuesday with that intent and told me at dinner that evening that he “chickened out.” I can completely empathize with that feeling – one that I remember well not just from my own teen days, but at every job turning point in my life. I think the job search was most difficult after I completed my MBA, because the process was so different for me than it had been eight years earlier after undergraduate school.

I’m finding the thought of him not earning any spending money more than a little stressful and I let him know. I was also honest in telling him that Dad and I are not on the same page about this.

In the meantime, my son has had two driving lessons and seems to be doing well. He is definitely committed to getting his license, so we will get him as much road time as we can with this teacher between now and mid-July when his permit expires. So there will constructive activities going on over the summer; the only difference is they will be expenses instead of revenues!

The Final of the Semster

By the time I post this, my son will be done with his last final exam. He has also nearly completed the two take-home exam papers that are due next week. He hopes to wrap them up by tomorrow and has, in the end, decided to come home on Saturday. I think part of the rationale is that those who are staying around and finished are going to be partying up a storm, and my son would rather not.

I am a little concerned that in his rush to complete everything, he won’t do his best work. During high school, he was always allotted additional time for tests, yet rarely used it. As one of his specialists said, “He should.” So I hope he has enough persistence left to read through the two papers and make final edits before he sends them off by email to his professors.

I don’t really know what else to say at this point, now that my son has all but completed a year of college, and extremely successfully. I expect the summer – learning to drive, living back at home and figuring out how to spend down time – will bring new challenges. And no doubt he will rise to them.

So my son’s final is today and this is also my final daily blog entry for a while. I know I will not be as diligent about writing over the next three months; I will try and enter something at least weekly. To my daily readers: thank you for your encouragement. If you think of anything you think I might address, feel free to let me know – other than that, I expect a quiet, fun (!) summer.

Reading Day

That makes is sound so…collegiate. Reading days are those days between the last day of class and the first day of taking finals (“writing finals”) when you’re supposed to be preparing. Or maybe it makes it sound British!

My son has two final exams on Friday, which he’s already been studying for and has two take-home exams that are due next week. He’s fairly confident that he will be able to finish the writing by Saturday afternoon. He is now trying to decide whether to rush home then, or relax and stay over until Sunday as his roommate and some others are doing. Finals continue into next week, but it does not appear that there are too many students who will still be there by Tuesday or Wednesday.

Last night the Frisbee team got together for a last pick-up game. There will be opportunities for him to play locally during the summer as there is a metro league.

Speaking to my son last night, he had mixed feelings about winding down – although I thought he’d be eager to come home, he seems to be wavering now and may well stay until Sunday. Despite the complications of the first semester, and the fact that he was less than impressed by his courses and professors in his second semester, the fact that he’s in no rush to get home would seem to indicate that he’s made some social connections. I’d call that a good start.

One More Time

There is an Ultimate Frisbee tournament this weekend at another school (sound familiar?). It is only scheduled for one day, so there should not be any problems with sleep-over arrangements. As it stands now, my son is driving to the school tomorrow morning with the other team members. My husband is planning on driving down and meeting him and watching some of the games. They will then most likely come back home together and my son will head back to campus on Sunday afternoon or Monday morning.

Keep your fingers crossed – it would also be nice if they won a couple of their games!

Too Much Information

When I was in undergraduate school, I really did not take school seriously – especially in my freshman year. In fact, I took it for granted that this post-secondary education was somehow owed to me; but that’s another story…

So if I slept through a class, or skipped a class for whatever reason, my parents never knew about it. One reason that I never shared that piece of information was because I would have felt terribly guilty and it was easier (on me) to live by the “lie of omission.”

Not so, with my son. Last night he called and innocently mentioned that he had a really hard time getting to sleep on Monday night. When he finally drifted off (I think he said it was close to five AM), he slept right through his morning class. He was quick to add that it was no big deal, because he had already spoken to someone from the class and he had not missed any new assignments.

But wasn’t there a paper due for that class? Did you email it to the professor? Apologize for not being there to hand it in? “No, but I’m going to do that.”

If I had not suggested that, would he have waited to hand in the paper – which had actually been completed by the deadline – during tomorrow’s class?

More importantly, would it have made any difference? With his penchant for honesty, he chose to mention that he had missed a class. Did that give me the go-ahead to mention what I believed his next responsibility was? If the paper had been handed in at the next class, he might have lost credit because it was late -- but I have no doubt that I handed in my share of late college assignments.

Was I offering him some needed coaching? Or was I helicopter-parenting?

Second Tournament

This weekend the Ultimate Frisbee team at my son’s college will participate in its second tournament, this time in New Hampshire. It will mean getting up early on Saturday and Sunday, when my son would much rather sleep in (who wouldn’t). We talked quite a bit about the commitment he made to this sport back in September. For a short time, I was afraid he was seriously considering not participating in this tourney – but I think he was just looking for some empathy and recognition that he really is committed (sore legs and all). No doubt my son would be more enthused if he got a little more playing time, but Ultimate seems to be no different than any other college sport, club through Division 1: freshmen have to put in their bench time. A couple of wins this weekend would also improve his attitude!

Self Awareness

Of the six “attributes for success” that I mentioned yesterday, I think the most difficult for my son (and others like him with social communications disabilities) to master is self-awareness. So much so, that he is probably not even aware that it might be a struggle for him.

Those who must deal with a nonverbal learning disorder or autism spectrum disorder frequently have a lack of attentiveness to personal hygiene – a smudge of chocolate or toothpaste left on the face, shoes loosely tied or untied, shirt, half-in and half-out and maybe showing signs of a recent snack. So they must develop a self-awareness of their own physicality, their overall appearance.

Self-awareness, or lack thereof, can also be seen in conversations. Sometimes people with social communication deficits are less able to modulate their volume, speaking too loudly or (as is usually the case with my son) not loudly enough; sometimes speaking too quickly or not clearly enough.

In order to achieve success (socially, in a job, in LIFE), there also must be an awareness of oneself as a part of a social group: How close to stand, how to be part of a conversation – contributing to a dialog without commandeering it, making eye-contact, but not staring. Social awareness, even mastered for one situation, must usually be adapted for another situation. The social group is constantly changing. Fitting in and interacting in a class will demand a different self-awareness and self, than a conversation over dinner in the cafeteria. Walking to class with one or two other students will, again, require different skills than sitting in the dorm lobby with a crowd of other resident students. A sense of self-awareness will guide us on what to say, when to say it and – above all – how to become a part of the social group.

If that sense must be learned rather than being intuitive, you can see how much harder it will be to achieve success.

Success Attributes

The staff at the Frostig Center (a Pasadena, California school for students with a wide variety of learning disabilities) has developed material they have entitled “Life Success for Children with Learning Disabilities: A Parent Guide.” In it, they identify six “success attributes” that are prevalent in individuals with learning disabilities who have achieved life outcomes that might have once been thought unachievable. They are:

• Perseverance
• Goal-setting
• The presence and use of effective support systems
• Proactive attitude
• Emotional coping strategies
• Self-awareness

My son has already been cited for his perseverance, having won an award for that quality five years ago after his serious illness. He worked incredibly hard on his physical therapy to get his strength back and on his studies to catch up with his classmates. He has also learned very well how to set near-term and longer term goals, in such a manner that he will be able to attain each goal he sets. By focusing his energy on the near term – finishing this term paper, getting to that workout – he is able to maintain his perspective on what is important now and how that will help him in the future.

He continues to hone those other attributes which, as a young adult, he is only beginning to develop. He had been given effective support systems throughout his elementary and high school years and really learned how best to use them. However, at the college level, such supports are not handed to him gift-wrapped; although they might be available, he needs to be proactive to get the highest and best use from them. When he was besieged with doubts and depression over the recent Easter weekend, he learned that one of the coping strategies that will get him re-grounded is a physical workout in the fitness center. He is still searching for other strategies. As for self-awareness, my son struggles with that; and he also struggles with his self-awareness as it intersects with peers, in a social circle.

Tell Us How You REALLY Feel!

Recently an email thread came along asking about certain colleges and how accommodating and inclusive they are, especially regarding potential students with disabilities on the autism spectrum or other social communications disorders. With the name deleted, here is my response:

I do not have experience with any of those schools, but my son (NLD) is currently a freshman at [Anonymous College] and their disabilities office and faculty leave a lot to be desired. At this point, we are hoping he will treat [Anonymous] like a junior college experience and transfer after his sophomore year (despite the difficulty that transitions can mean). I wish I had done a LOT more questioning of disabilities services before he decided on a school. In fact, he chose [Anonymous] only for their theater program and was "encouraged out" midway through his first semester. TERRIBLE

Bottom line is -- keep grilling them and know what support your son will have access to!!!
Good luck!

Was I too harsh?

Coming Clean

As we approach the four-months-past-Christmas-mark, the guilt is overwhelming me. It’s time to come clean, knowing that at least one of my few faithful readers is going to (hopefully) have a good laugh.

Last fall, I wrote more than once about the issue my son was having with losing his personal toiletries by leaving them in the bathroom in his dorm. Someone suggested an organizer from LL Bean, and someone else bought it for my son for Christmas.

We returned home in January from a holiday visit with family, and I (AM PRETTY SURE I) showed my son how convenient and handy the organizer would be – with pockets for razor and shave cream, shampoo, toothpaste and toothbrush, etc.; it also had a hanger that would fit over the shower rod and over the rod in his closet. I imagined shampoo never to be lost again, used all the way to the bottom of the bottle.

It did not quite work out that way. To this day, we are not quite sure whether the organizer got lost as soon as he got back to school, or even BEFORE he returned to school. How embarrassing is that? We looked everywhere; it is slightly possible that we left it in Indiana, but I really think I showed my son how to use it after we got back home.

Not ready to admit defeat with what I believed was a really good concept, I finally called LL Bean in February or early March and ordered the exact same organizer…which was delivered a week or so later to the wrong mailbox ...and therefore sat there for another week or more. Finally my son retrieved the package.

I’m not sure what he did with it – yesterday afternoon he called to tell me that he was going for a walk downtown to pick up a new bottle of shampoo – the half-full old one was missing.

Mea Culpa!!

How About That

Following an Internet link for Nonverbal Learning Disability, I came across a case study first published online in November 2004. It’s a really interesting article discussing the differential diagnoses involved when a child presents with symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome, Nonverbal Learning Disorder as well as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Copy and paste the link below for the full article:

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/114/5/S2/1458#FN1

The doctors presenting the study offer a clear discussion of the differences and similarities of AS and NLD. As described by one author and in the DSM-IV, Asperger’s is characterized by “severe…impairment in social interaction, with…repetitive patterns of behavior.” NLD, on the other hand, is a neurological condition, involving dysfunction in the brain’s right hemisphere that causes deficits in “visual-spatial organization…motor functions, social skills and executive function.”

The “how about that” moment came when I realized one of the authors was the mother of one of my daughter’s classmates! I should really get in touch with her.

Reason For Hope!

From the blog I sometimes follow by a mother whose son also has NLD:

“ I'm so proud of [my son, who has just gotten his driver’s license]. Having Nonverbal Learning Disorder means that he has visual-spatial problems. That, combined with anxiety, doesn't bode well for driving a car. Throughout his Driver's Ed programme he was rather anxious while driving and a little timid. As he went along he started gaining more confidence and getting more and more comfortable. He still is very cautious, but I'm not going to complain about that.

"It's very interesting watching him drive as he will still verbalize the "rules" and procedures. As he parks, he talks the procedure to himself as he does it. It's very fascinating to me.”

My son’s learner’s permit expires this summer so we (he) will be focusing a lot of attention of driving lessons!

Question:

How does someone with an autism spectrum disorder or similar disability get and hold down a job when this is such a difficult thing for neuro-typical people to do?

I don’t know the answer to that. In the past few days I have been on the receiving end of a thread of emails from parents of adults (most with AS) who are living at home without any means of self support. Most are fortunate to have loving families who will do their best to continue to be there for their children as long as they can. But this can’t last forever; parents don’t typically outlive their children. If there is an understanding, patient sibling to step in when the parents are no longer able, then there is reason for optimism that things will work out.

Fortunate are the children with relatively minor disabilities, and who grow up with a measure of self confidence that enables them to function independently. That is where I want my son to be; that is where I believe he is heading.