As we approach the four-months-past-Christmas-mark, the guilt is overwhelming me. It’s time to come clean, knowing that at least one of my few faithful readers is going to (hopefully) have a good laugh.
Last fall, I wrote more than once about the issue my son was having with losing his personal toiletries by leaving them in the bathroom in his dorm. Someone suggested an organizer from LL Bean, and someone else bought it for my son for Christmas.
We returned home in January from a holiday visit with family, and I (AM PRETTY SURE I) showed my son how convenient and handy the organizer would be – with pockets for razor and shave cream, shampoo, toothpaste and toothbrush, etc.; it also had a hanger that would fit over the shower rod and over the rod in his closet. I imagined shampoo never to be lost again, used all the way to the bottom of the bottle.
It did not quite work out that way. To this day, we are not quite sure whether the organizer got lost as soon as he got back to school, or even BEFORE he returned to school. How embarrassing is that? We looked everywhere; it is slightly possible that we left it in Indiana, but I really think I showed my son how to use it after we got back home.
Not ready to admit defeat with what I believed was a really good concept, I finally called LL Bean in February or early March and ordered the exact same organizer…which was delivered a week or so later to the wrong mailbox ...and therefore sat there for another week or more. Finally my son retrieved the package.
I’m not sure what he did with it – yesterday afternoon he called to tell me that he was going for a walk downtown to pick up a new bottle of shampoo – the half-full old one was missing.
Mea Culpa!!
Showing posts with label organizational skills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label organizational skills. Show all posts
Friday, April 16, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Internet Security Notes - Financial
With my son off at school, armed with a credit card, it is probably as good a time as any to talk about some Internet security rules, especially as they pertain to online purchases.
When you establish an account in your own name, with a user login and a password, the computer will often offer a pop-up saying “Do you want to remember your password?” With the exception of our home computer that is only used by our family, I never let my computer auto complete logins or remember passwords. Each computer that can do that likely increases the odds of your account getting hacked. Even one is probably too many. Although many of us might do it, it is not a good idea to use the same password for every account you use, especially if that is a relatively short password.
My son now has a debit card for his own account, and a credit card (my account) for larger purchases – mainly books. We have already seen that there are times when he will need to order and pay for something online. Which to use? NEVER use a debit card for online purchases. It is much harder to dispute purchases made with a debit card, especially when the funds are withdrawn immediately from a checking account. I’ve read recently that gas stations are another place where you should use a credit card rather than a debit card because it is apparently very easy to clone your account from a gas pump. If you have to use a debit card, stick with one that has a credit card logo (Visa or MasterCard) and input the number as a credit card.
Even following the two maxims above, there is always a possibility that your account will be violated. It is a good habit to frequently check your bank accounts and credit card accounts online to keep an eye out for unusual activity.
I have encouraged my son to establish an online banking account, and to learn how to check his balance and transfer funds from his savings to his checking account. Besides the reassurance that no one has illegally accessed his accounts, monitoring the declining balance will be a good lesson for him in money management. Currently, he has no income to replace the balance; so I hope he understands that he’s got to watch it.
When you establish an account in your own name, with a user login and a password, the computer will often offer a pop-up saying “Do you want to remember your password?” With the exception of our home computer that is only used by our family, I never let my computer auto complete logins or remember passwords. Each computer that can do that likely increases the odds of your account getting hacked. Even one is probably too many. Although many of us might do it, it is not a good idea to use the same password for every account you use, especially if that is a relatively short password.
My son now has a debit card for his own account, and a credit card (my account) for larger purchases – mainly books. We have already seen that there are times when he will need to order and pay for something online. Which to use? NEVER use a debit card for online purchases. It is much harder to dispute purchases made with a debit card, especially when the funds are withdrawn immediately from a checking account. I’ve read recently that gas stations are another place where you should use a credit card rather than a debit card because it is apparently very easy to clone your account from a gas pump. If you have to use a debit card, stick with one that has a credit card logo (Visa or MasterCard) and input the number as a credit card.
Even following the two maxims above, there is always a possibility that your account will be violated. It is a good habit to frequently check your bank accounts and credit card accounts online to keep an eye out for unusual activity.
I have encouraged my son to establish an online banking account, and to learn how to check his balance and transfer funds from his savings to his checking account. Besides the reassurance that no one has illegally accessed his accounts, monitoring the declining balance will be a good lesson for him in money management. Currently, he has no income to replace the balance; so I hope he understands that he’s got to watch it.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Back to School
My son is on his way back to campus today. I am not 100% sure that he came to any decision regarding the Stage Tech grade, although he seems to be leaning toward approaching the professor to get clarification on how she arrived at it. We told him it couldn’t hurt and there are two possible outcomes, both of which would at least provide him with some closure. First, she might be able to show him that the grade he got was indeed the grade he earned based on work completed and exam scores. Or second, she might have actually made a mistake.
I said goodbye to him this morning before I left for work and left him with a promise of frequent text messages regarding the state of his dorm room. I feel as though I did not even come close to getting him to understand the importance of keeping his room at least moderately organized.
For those readers who know my son, feel free to ask him in a week if he’s managing to keep his important papers in a folder or folders, his toiletries in the nifty organizer that he got, and his floor free of trash. And feel free to ask him that more than once.
I said goodbye to him this morning before I left for work and left him with a promise of frequent text messages regarding the state of his dorm room. I feel as though I did not even come close to getting him to understand the importance of keeping his room at least moderately organized.
For those readers who know my son, feel free to ask him in a week if he’s managing to keep his important papers in a folder or folders, his toiletries in the nifty organizer that he got, and his floor free of trash. And feel free to ask him that more than once.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Does It Work or Not??
Last night I got home and plugged the Ethernet into the laptop and was able to open the Internet. Today, my son left me a voice mail that – again – he was not able to establish a connection with the cable.
Is it my son or is it the laptop? Given the problems he has had with it since the beginning of the school year, it might be the laptop. I’ll try and figure that out tonight.
Is it my son or is it the laptop? Given the problems he has had with it since the beginning of the school year, it might be the laptop. I’ll try and figure that out tonight.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
A Long Break
I meant to pick up yesterday, but things got away from me over the long holiday weekend.
My husband and I drove our son back to school yesterday morning and helped him get his stuff upstairs. Walking into his dorm room was like walking into the Tenth Circle of Dante's Inferno. So we spent fifteen or twenty minutes (once again) helping him organize. But a system is only as effective as it is easy to stick to.
He clearly has difficulty in seeing the big picture…how will putting his books, toiletries, dirty laundry, etc. in the same place all the time help him in succeeding. Well, in our efforts yesterday, we came across loose paper in the bottom of the closet that turned out to be something he would need as a study guide for one of his finals. So yes, he needs to master the art of organization.
This is what we ended up with: a box with snacks and the like in the bottom of his closet; the laundry basket (you put dirty clothes in that) on the other side of the closet; a plastic container on the side of his desk with bathroom and shower items (soap, toothbrush, deodorant, etc); a plastic bin under his bed for extra books, DVDs and games; slots in the desk organizer for current class work, often-used games, etc. Finally, I know you might find this hard to believe, but he’s generally been using the floor as a trash and recycling receptacle, even though there is a handy trash bag on the bedpost and a recycling container near the door. We encouraged our son to try and use those; the dorm room definitely looks nicer without stuff all over the floor.
You see how I cleverly reinforced where everything goes by writing it in this blog (and hoping he looks at it)?!
My husband and I drove our son back to school yesterday morning and helped him get his stuff upstairs. Walking into his dorm room was like walking into the Tenth Circle of Dante's Inferno. So we spent fifteen or twenty minutes (once again) helping him organize. But a system is only as effective as it is easy to stick to.
He clearly has difficulty in seeing the big picture…how will putting his books, toiletries, dirty laundry, etc. in the same place all the time help him in succeeding. Well, in our efforts yesterday, we came across loose paper in the bottom of the closet that turned out to be something he would need as a study guide for one of his finals. So yes, he needs to master the art of organization.
This is what we ended up with: a box with snacks and the like in the bottom of his closet; the laundry basket (you put dirty clothes in that) on the other side of the closet; a plastic container on the side of his desk with bathroom and shower items (soap, toothbrush, deodorant, etc); a plastic bin under his bed for extra books, DVDs and games; slots in the desk organizer for current class work, often-used games, etc. Finally, I know you might find this hard to believe, but he’s generally been using the floor as a trash and recycling receptacle, even though there is a handy trash bag on the bedpost and a recycling container near the door. We encouraged our son to try and use those; the dorm room definitely looks nicer without stuff all over the floor.
You see how I cleverly reinforced where everything goes by writing it in this blog (and hoping he looks at it)?!
Monday, November 16, 2009
In a Perfect World
Autism spectrum disabilities frequently are concurrent with other issues, such as my son’s seizure disorder. However, this particular malady is very well controlled by daily medication. As a result, his only problems in school are related to the core problem, Nonverbal Learning Disorder.
NLD affects my son’s handwriting, because it is difficult for him to judge the spacing and size of written letters. He has used a computer to type assignments since early elementary school – although math and science teachers have always been able to decipher his handwriting when typing was not practical. Relatives can usually understand his thank-you notes; his handwriting probably is not that much worse than my own.
Along the same principle, when the Tech class moved from hand-stitching to sewing machines, my son was able to complete the task. The problem with the hand sewing was less of being uncoordinated, and more of a fundamental inability to visualize how to do the stitches and then follow through in practice. He actually searched the Internet for clearer instructions, but what he found did not really shed any additional light on this job. Additional verbal clarification and a step-by-step demonstration would have helped, although he probably still would have had trouble.
The OSD has asked for written documentation that my son will be able to safely operate the machines for the next element of the class. We’re not sure why; there is actually no reason for them to believe that he will have any more trouble than anyone else. The school has everything we have that documents my son’s learning disability, including testing results and recommended accommodations. His admission file included a letter from his guidance counselor that would have addressed his learning issues. I have suggested they contact one of the specialists at his high school if they need anything else.
My son has indicated that he wants to continue in the class, whether or not he continues in the major. Ideally, that’s what will happen. If the professor is concerned for his safety, she might offer one-on-one instruction, or have an upperclassman or graduate assistant work with my son. But I can not give them the written assurance that they would like; they are asking us to document something that doesn’t exist to any greater degree for my son than it does for other students.
NLD affects my son’s handwriting, because it is difficult for him to judge the spacing and size of written letters. He has used a computer to type assignments since early elementary school – although math and science teachers have always been able to decipher his handwriting when typing was not practical. Relatives can usually understand his thank-you notes; his handwriting probably is not that much worse than my own.
Along the same principle, when the Tech class moved from hand-stitching to sewing machines, my son was able to complete the task. The problem with the hand sewing was less of being uncoordinated, and more of a fundamental inability to visualize how to do the stitches and then follow through in practice. He actually searched the Internet for clearer instructions, but what he found did not really shed any additional light on this job. Additional verbal clarification and a step-by-step demonstration would have helped, although he probably still would have had trouble.
The OSD has asked for written documentation that my son will be able to safely operate the machines for the next element of the class. We’re not sure why; there is actually no reason for them to believe that he will have any more trouble than anyone else. The school has everything we have that documents my son’s learning disability, including testing results and recommended accommodations. His admission file included a letter from his guidance counselor that would have addressed his learning issues. I have suggested they contact one of the specialists at his high school if they need anything else.
My son has indicated that he wants to continue in the class, whether or not he continues in the major. Ideally, that’s what will happen. If the professor is concerned for his safety, she might offer one-on-one instruction, or have an upperclassman or graduate assistant work with my son. But I can not give them the written assurance that they would like; they are asking us to document something that doesn’t exist to any greater degree for my son than it does for other students.
Monday, November 9, 2009
The Rest of the Story (so far)
When my son was having so much difficulty with the sewing assignment, we encouraged him to make contact with the Office for Students with Disabilities, which he did. Before he had that meeting, he sent an email to the Tech teacher, explaining that he had a learning disability that made the task more difficult for him. She responded promptly and suggested a meeting, and included the head of the department. At that meeting last Thursday, my son was told that he could not meet the requirements for a BFA in Stage Management. He was told that there were about twelve of the twenty-two required courses that would pose obstacles for him. Moreover, they suggested that he try a “self-designed” major. He was getting expelled from pre-school yet again.
Now my son has spent the past fourteen years, from the pre-school that I wrote about last week through his senior year in high school getting nothing but encouragement and support – only to have the rug pulled out from underneath him with one brief meeting. When he told me about the meeting, he added, “They have a point.”
I am going to add here that he was not completely convinced that he wanted this major even before this meeting. I am going to concede the fact that some astronomically high proportion of college students changes majors, and I was in that majority.
But these two teachers gain no credibility as educators by telling my son that this major was beyond his capabilities. His college is sponsoring a seminar early in 2010 on inclusion practices for Aspberger’s students in the college environment. Guess who should go.
Let’s assume for a moment that my son is fully committed to his chosen major. Or, if he is not, let’s go on the premise that he is willing to complete one year of courses in this major before he makes a decision about whether or not to continue. If his disability were an obvious physical handicap, the school would recognize immediately that they might have to make some adjustments. If he were in a wheelchair, he could not be expected to climb a ladder to check lights.
My son’s disability is more subtle. We were told when he was three years old that he should learn keyboarding and do as much of his work on the computer as he can. While there are required courses in costume design and set design, I would guess that there is computer-assisted design software that he would be able to utilize. When my husband and I went through the course flow chart, these were the only courses (apart from his current Stage Tech course) that we could find that could be really tough. Do you mean to tell me that a school noted for its theater department can not find a way to work with a handicapped student to succeed in a theater major?
For a person with a disability, success in the classroom and eventually the workplace is all about accommodations – not accommodations that would result in “less” of a major or job description – but accommodations that adapt the requirements so that it becomes accessible to someone who wants to pursue it.
My son is meeting with the two teachers and the director of the disability office later this week, and he has agreed to let my husband be there. Our concern is that he will let this be a catalyst to stop trying, and take the easy way out. Sometimes in his eagerness to please, he overlooks what’s best for him. But we are all keeping our minds open.
Now my son has spent the past fourteen years, from the pre-school that I wrote about last week through his senior year in high school getting nothing but encouragement and support – only to have the rug pulled out from underneath him with one brief meeting. When he told me about the meeting, he added, “They have a point.”
I am going to add here that he was not completely convinced that he wanted this major even before this meeting. I am going to concede the fact that some astronomically high proportion of college students changes majors, and I was in that majority.
But these two teachers gain no credibility as educators by telling my son that this major was beyond his capabilities. His college is sponsoring a seminar early in 2010 on inclusion practices for Aspberger’s students in the college environment. Guess who should go.
Let’s assume for a moment that my son is fully committed to his chosen major. Or, if he is not, let’s go on the premise that he is willing to complete one year of courses in this major before he makes a decision about whether or not to continue. If his disability were an obvious physical handicap, the school would recognize immediately that they might have to make some adjustments. If he were in a wheelchair, he could not be expected to climb a ladder to check lights.
My son’s disability is more subtle. We were told when he was three years old that he should learn keyboarding and do as much of his work on the computer as he can. While there are required courses in costume design and set design, I would guess that there is computer-assisted design software that he would be able to utilize. When my husband and I went through the course flow chart, these were the only courses (apart from his current Stage Tech course) that we could find that could be really tough. Do you mean to tell me that a school noted for its theater department can not find a way to work with a handicapped student to succeed in a theater major?
For a person with a disability, success in the classroom and eventually the workplace is all about accommodations – not accommodations that would result in “less” of a major or job description – but accommodations that adapt the requirements so that it becomes accessible to someone who wants to pursue it.
My son is meeting with the two teachers and the director of the disability office later this week, and he has agreed to let my husband be there. Our concern is that he will let this be a catalyst to stop trying, and take the easy way out. Sometimes in his eagerness to please, he overlooks what’s best for him. But we are all keeping our minds open.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Spoiler Alert!
One of my (four) official followers had a great suggestion for the toiletries problem. If there are any family members reading this on a regular basis, use the URL below for a Christmas suggestion! If my son is reading this, don't look at the URL below...
I think this will work really well and be convenient to use (convenience is a major selling point with college freshmen).
http://www.llbean.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/CategoryDisplay?categoryId=51638&storeId=1&catalogId=1&langId=-1&feat=msr
TA 245361, best size.
I think this will work really well and be convenient to use (convenience is a major selling point with college freshmen).
http://www.llbean.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/CategoryDisplay?categoryId=51638&storeId=1&catalogId=1&langId=-1&feat=msr
TA 245361, best size.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Any Suggestions Out There??
One of my son’s biggest challenges, and it has an impact on so many parts of his life, is getting and staying organized. I suggest, cajole, advise, counsel, recommend… and still there is a new problem (it seems) every time I see him.
Edit…edit. I was going to list things that had fallen through the cracks since he left, but why beat a dead horse. Just go back and look at some of the entries.
This weekend he told me he had basically lost (forgotten in the bathroom) three bottles of shampoo/body wash, pretty much all in the past week or so.
He’s got a shaving kit, but apparently not everything fits, so it’s pretty easy to leave something behind (apparently). He took a plastic shoe-box back to school yesterday that might work better in terms of fit. But it will only help if he uses it.
Anyone have any suggestions??
Edit…edit. I was going to list things that had fallen through the cracks since he left, but why beat a dead horse. Just go back and look at some of the entries.
This weekend he told me he had basically lost (forgotten in the bathroom) three bottles of shampoo/body wash, pretty much all in the past week or so.
He’s got a shaving kit, but apparently not everything fits, so it’s pretty easy to leave something behind (apparently). He took a plastic shoe-box back to school yesterday that might work better in terms of fit. But it will only help if he uses it.
Anyone have any suggestions??
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
How to Keep Track of Everything
I suppose if anyone knew the answer to that, they’d be wealthy. The short answer is probably -- impossible! I’ve written about my son’s difficulty in staying organized before. First it was what he forgot to bring home and what he left at school; this week it’s what he forgot to bring back to school and left at home.
He called Monday to let me know that he was pretty sure his iPod was still sitting on his desk at home. Sure enough, there it was. And by the way Mom, could you look around for the new video game I bought over the weekend? I was sure I put it in my backpack, but it’s not there now. Good old Mom found it on the floor of his room, tucked behind the TV stand. Lastly, I got a text from him yesterday saying that he seems to have left his phone charger home – that was right before his phone went dead. And yes, the charger is right on the floor partly under the bookcase, where he left it.
We all do this, and some of us do it more than others. Moreover, in my son’s defense, he has gotten infinitely more careful about keeping track of his belongings. He has not lost or damaged a cell phone in more than two years. I think the problem is rearing its ugly head at this particular time because this is such a major transition for him. It’s one thing to go from your room, to the dining room, to school, back to the house and to the kitchen, for a walk downtown, etc. All of that represents the small world he was in only two months ago. Now he’s pretty much got two worlds to keep track of, and it’s clearly hard.
I’m not sure what the solution is; maybe an oral checklist would work until he gets used to the bi-locating. I should call him on the day he’s coming home and make sure he’s got all his laundry, books, medicine, phone, and any other necessity. Oh, that’s right; I can’t call him and remind him of that because his phone is dead because he left his charger home. Plan B: get duplicates of some necessities. He is on an adventure today taking a bus to a mall, in search of a phone charger that he can leave in his room.
He called Monday to let me know that he was pretty sure his iPod was still sitting on his desk at home. Sure enough, there it was. And by the way Mom, could you look around for the new video game I bought over the weekend? I was sure I put it in my backpack, but it’s not there now. Good old Mom found it on the floor of his room, tucked behind the TV stand. Lastly, I got a text from him yesterday saying that he seems to have left his phone charger home – that was right before his phone went dead. And yes, the charger is right on the floor partly under the bookcase, where he left it.
We all do this, and some of us do it more than others. Moreover, in my son’s defense, he has gotten infinitely more careful about keeping track of his belongings. He has not lost or damaged a cell phone in more than two years. I think the problem is rearing its ugly head at this particular time because this is such a major transition for him. It’s one thing to go from your room, to the dining room, to school, back to the house and to the kitchen, for a walk downtown, etc. All of that represents the small world he was in only two months ago. Now he’s pretty much got two worlds to keep track of, and it’s clearly hard.
I’m not sure what the solution is; maybe an oral checklist would work until he gets used to the bi-locating. I should call him on the day he’s coming home and make sure he’s got all his laundry, books, medicine, phone, and any other necessity. Oh, that’s right; I can’t call him and remind him of that because his phone is dead because he left his charger home. Plan B: get duplicates of some necessities. He is on an adventure today taking a bus to a mall, in search of a phone charger that he can leave in his room.
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