We’ve all had spills. This is a common accident that can occur multiple times in a given day. Grab the paper towels, the dish rag, the sponge, or anything else nearby to soak up the spill and clean up the mess. When the accident is caused by a child, parents usually take charge of the clean-up, at least until the child is old enough to manage this task on her own. What age would that be – 8? Maybe not until 12 or 13? I would guess that most children have this everyday skill for life down pat by high school. Sexist though it might be, I’d also guess that most girls are capable of a fairly thorough clean-up before most boys achieve this competence.
Has anyone ever told you how to mop up a spill? Not likely. You just spilled a full cup of coffee all over your desk? Get a sponge, wipe up coffee, squeeze out sponge, repeat. And repeat. And repeat again until all the coffee is magically removed.
What happens if you skip one of those steps?
I cleaned up those little and large spills for my son, probably for more years than was necessary. I rationalized (as many parents do) that it was easier to do it myself. But I didn’t know what was coming. On the occasion of one of those spills when my son was perhaps 15, I said, “No big deal, – just grab the sponge and wipe it up.” Fortunately, it was on the kitchen counter, so the sink was right there.
But as I watched him gamely attempt the cleanup, I realized that the spill wasn’t getting any smaller. Because I hadn’t told him exactly how to accomplish this task, he didn’t know that as the sponge became saturated he had to squeeze it out in the sink. Once I provided him with the needed verbal cue, he was easily able to finish the chore.
My son graduated from high school as a member of the National Honor Society and was admitted to several very competitive colleges. The things he needs to learn are not things that would ever prevent him from succeeding, but it would definitely make his life easier.
Showing posts with label life skills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life skills. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
DIY - Lesson One
Self-sufficiency is an issue that is common to all adolescents, not just those with a learning disability.
As parents, we try to foster independence in our children from an early age -- expanding the boundaries and raising the bar of expectations as they mature and there is evidence that they are ready for the next level. One of my son's first forays in this direction involved two pairs of sneakers that we had bought for him when he was about three years old. The sneakers were the same style, in different colors. One morning I asked him which shoes he wanted to wear, and he replied without hesitation, "One of each!" Fine by me -- he had made his own choice!
Sometimes lessons on independence come from unforeseen (not to mention occasionally unwanted) circumstances. One evening in early December when he was in eighth grade, my son suddenly became very dizzy and nauseous. After spending the night in the Emergency Room, he was admitted and later diagnosed with meningo-encephalitis -- both meningitis and encephalitis. (I need to add from which he fully recovered.) He spent nearly three weeks in acute care before being transferred to a rehab hospital for four more weeks. The therapists that he worked with there were exceptional, and they really understood my son. Much of what they worked on -- physical therapy, agility -- was related to his recent illness. But the therapists recognized that there was a need to bolster some more fundamental skills, beyond any damage to his speech and coordination that resulted from the virus.
One thing they worked on during that time was taking a shower. Again, this is not something most parents would think of teaching their children. But to a child with a learning disability that affects organizational skills, the "how" part of taking a shower is far less obvious. My son's occupational therapist created a list of steps, laminated the list in plastic so it could hang in the shower, and verbally went over the steps with him at each shower: from turning on the water and adjusting the temperature before stepping in, to a logical order for washing. The therapist suggested top-down, basically starting with shampooing the hair, and this worked well for our son. We brought the card home and put it in the bathroom, where it stayed for several more weeks until he was confidently following the same routine each day. The sequence of steps was not the critical factor in helping our son master this skill of daily living. What mattered for him was the list, the verbal instructions and the routine order.
For neuro-typical children and adults, taking a shower is almost an instinctive skill. But for those challenged by Nonverbal Learning or a similar social communications disorder, instinct plays a very minor role in grasping either the importance or the fundamentals of some basic life skills.
As parents, we try to foster independence in our children from an early age -- expanding the boundaries and raising the bar of expectations as they mature and there is evidence that they are ready for the next level. One of my son's first forays in this direction involved two pairs of sneakers that we had bought for him when he was about three years old. The sneakers were the same style, in different colors. One morning I asked him which shoes he wanted to wear, and he replied without hesitation, "One of each!" Fine by me -- he had made his own choice!
Sometimes lessons on independence come from unforeseen (not to mention occasionally unwanted) circumstances. One evening in early December when he was in eighth grade, my son suddenly became very dizzy and nauseous. After spending the night in the Emergency Room, he was admitted and later diagnosed with meningo-encephalitis -- both meningitis and encephalitis. (I need to add from which he fully recovered.) He spent nearly three weeks in acute care before being transferred to a rehab hospital for four more weeks. The therapists that he worked with there were exceptional, and they really understood my son. Much of what they worked on -- physical therapy, agility -- was related to his recent illness. But the therapists recognized that there was a need to bolster some more fundamental skills, beyond any damage to his speech and coordination that resulted from the virus.
One thing they worked on during that time was taking a shower. Again, this is not something most parents would think of teaching their children. But to a child with a learning disability that affects organizational skills, the "how" part of taking a shower is far less obvious. My son's occupational therapist created a list of steps, laminated the list in plastic so it could hang in the shower, and verbally went over the steps with him at each shower: from turning on the water and adjusting the temperature before stepping in, to a logical order for washing. The therapist suggested top-down, basically starting with shampooing the hair, and this worked well for our son. We brought the card home and put it in the bathroom, where it stayed for several more weeks until he was confidently following the same routine each day. The sequence of steps was not the critical factor in helping our son master this skill of daily living. What mattered for him was the list, the verbal instructions and the routine order.
For neuro-typical children and adults, taking a shower is almost an instinctive skill. But for those challenged by Nonverbal Learning or a similar social communications disorder, instinct plays a very minor role in grasping either the importance or the fundamentals of some basic life skills.
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